An aged man is but a paltry thing, a tattered coat upon a stick
unless soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing for every tatter in its mortal dress
-Yeats

He is so right. as always.
That's how I think now.. when everything feels like it's changing.. changing from something that was good.
For the first time in a long time I had routine and a steady home. Then came that time I have been waiting for so long with my back injury, closure. Even though I still have pain I finally got.."there's nothing more we can do" and in some way that's what I've been waiting for. To accept my life as it is, and move on. Then I realised.. I can finally study! And even though I'm only 25 and young still.. I want to study what love and learn things. Been wanting that for five years. I want to get an education and look for work in something that I really love and want to work with. Books.
So to move to the city I want to study literature is the only thing I want to do.. but that doesn't change the fact that I will miss the hell out of my friends.. my mom.. my dog. But London.. a 2 hour plane ride. So it's ok.
But.. if I don't get in to the schools I have applied for I have to look for something else and it's gonna be similar to what I'm planning now so it is what I want to do and I can see my future over there. But right now I wanna stop time so I can enjoy my friends and apartment as long as possible. But at the same time I can't wait to leave.
It's going to be the time of my life.